Ok, let’s start from the beginning: admittedly, I’m super competitive, mostly with myself. Don’t get me wrong, I pride myself on being super supportive of the people in my life, which is easy because they’re all amazing, but lets call it like it is: When I set a goal, I better crush it or I’m pissed. So how do I (semi-concisely) tell readers that I just had to put my #100fitdays on hold for awhile?
Here goes the short version:
I willed change – working out, counting calories and killing myself to lose baby(ies) weight
Then I made a change – switch my career and change the entire rhythm of my life
Now I have to embrace change – Live in the moment. Take a deep breath. Give myself some space to take a deep breath. Get on a paddle board and (re)realize that everything I have is crazy fun and that having fun should be my current focus for fitness
And now for the long version:
I was killing myself to lose this damn baby(ies) weight and #100fitdays was definitely helping. My weight loss plateau’d 9 days (hello, 9 days!) after Ethan and Alex were born. 30 days into my #100fitdays I had shed over 10lbs. I was kicking ass but the effort was kicking mine.
You’d think the results would make me push even harder, but I just hit this point where I didn’t want to work out anymore. I was over weight loss and all it’s time consuming mind consuming status. Then I also made the decision to do a career change and go freelance – ehem, betsyleonidas.com. So here I found myself swirling around a completely different rhythm of life.
Change is hard, but I’m kind of obsessed with it. It’s the adrenalin rush of doing something new that always brings on something great. But remember those days of a new job where you have your best outfit picked, you’re super read up and psyched up, just ready to crush it – and then for a week you cant find the bathroom and you get lost on the way back to your desk? That’s where I am. It’s going to be fine. As a matter of fact, it’s going to be great, but right now I’ve metaphorically circled the same guy listening to headphones with 2 giant monitors and 6 cups of old coffee on his desk, and I just keep sticking my chin up and playin it cool. Thats ok. I’ve been here before and each time I’ve tried to learn something. This time I’ve learned that sometimes you just NEED A MINUTE.
I just needed to give up on all this fitness pressure and live a free’er(ererer) life with one less goal for a hot minute. This is new to me. But here’s the deal. I found myself on a paddle board – aka my church – finding that giant sigh I’ve been looking for. I had that moment where I could take a step back and realize how much fun I was having. I do my best thinking in the shower or on a paddle board and here’s my new thing:
Don’t forget what life is – an endless journey for balance. If something feels off balance, walk away and think about it. Take a minute. Take however long you need. When you’re ready, come back to it. Pick up the pieces of the not so perfect situation and go from there.
This was definitely new for me. I’m more of a bull in a china shop kinda gal.
Not every situation can be paddle board perfect, but I’ve just shifted all that weight loss pressure from my workouts to focusing on whatever brings me some fun. So that’s what I’ve been up to for the past few weeks: Paddle boarding, kayaking, running in the pouring rain, going on long sweaty baby wearing walks with great friends, doing yoga with my kids and more. I’ve stopped counting calories and the stepping on the scale for awhile to just breath and enjoy.
Have I lost more baby weight in the past month? Nope. That’s ok. I’m in that I can live with this zone where duh stretch pants are my favorite (always!) but FINE I can put on real clothes because they do button now. I know I’ll buckle down and shed those last pounds when I’m ready, but for now, I’m just doing my thing and finding fun in exercise again, so that I can continue to make it a priority.
As for the rest of the rhythm of life, I’m loving it. It’s crazy (natch) but I Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I focus on the good stuff, grind through the rough stuff, find joy, build it, dream it, whatever sounds like a great self help book premise – I JUST KEEP SWIMMING. I’m finally ready to get back in the saddle of every day fitness, but this time with a major focus on fun.
Sorry this was kind of a swirly ride, but what can I say, besides, excuse me where’s the metaphorical bathroom? #highfive #
amireallyendingthisonabathroom metaphor #yep